Monday, August 5, 2013
My family was my focus.
After my last post I, and my family had a bit of a set back with my boy and his autism.
For the most part we have been very lucky in having the diagnosis very low and moderate as he is high functioning. He on most days is a typical child.
You couldn't pick him out from a group and say there is something different about him.
But that all went away over the past week.
He had a tantrum of all tantrums and there was no pulling him out of it.
Once he did come back he was different. He was touchy, sensitive in all new ways and just not happy. This made me slide back into a depression. Realizing he was capable of sliding backwards even still after all the progress he has made.
We are desperately trying to find an in home ABA therapist that is able to say what might have brought on the tantrum and the change.
I was telling a friend last night, for most who have no idea what Autism is I tried to find a comparison for you. When a tantrum hits it is like a new born baby screaming and crying all day long but add rage and hitting, biting and super strength. Your house will be destroyed in a heartbeat. And you have no idea why. What he saw, or what he heard, or something you wore that day, maybe you moved his toy the wrong way, did he eat something that he wasn't supposed to? There is no calming him, there is no way out. By the end you want to pull your own hair out and have a tantrum of your own.
I wish this disease on no one. It is horrible and to every stay at home mom or dad that has to deal with it on a daily basis all alone, I cry for you.
It takes so much strength, and courage to keep going.
For a week we have been trying to make him come back to us, happy and the boy we knew. Last night we had a break through and I can see him. He is there and I am so close to having my boy back.
I know I am usually posting upbeat stories and how my boy is so happy and sweet. I give hope to those struggling too that one day their child will come out of it. But I have to write the truth and share the bad times too.
I wasn't prepared myself for the bad truth but it is before me and I must deal.
I just wish I had help in doing so.