I Heart Fall

 Happy Fall everyone!!
Oh what a glorious morning.
Started as usual, cats jumping on my body for a morning wake up call to feed them.  I stumble out of bed and downstairs to give them treats and let them outside.  I opened the door and what greeted me was amazing.
FALL
Yes Fall greeted me with a cold chill in the air.

I immediately ran to shut the air conditioning off that has been running non-stop since May, and threw open all the doors and windows.  What an amazing difference to have crisp, cool, fresh air fill the house.

Today is cleaning day and we usually don't leave the house on Sundays.  But today I might make an exception.  Not that it will stay 67* all day but boy it sure is lovely.

Yesterday we spent the whole day go, go, going.
We started with some school work and learning about fall by making some squirrels gathering their nuts for winter.

Then it was on to a great event put on by Barnes and Noble.  It was Curious George day and storytime.  The boy had so much fun and I have to say I was so proud to see him sit patiently and wait, then raise his hand and want to participate in the games and color time.
What a difference a year makes!

So pleased with him, I treated him to his most favorite lunch at In - N - Out
then it was on to the park.  All of our normal parks were full of birthday parties and family reunions which worked out great cause I stumbled upon a whole new park that will now be our favorite.  By this time of the day it became so blustery that I felt motion sick.  You can see here how the boy is holding on for dear life and his hair is blowing back so you can actually see his face.  It seriously was hard to even walk.  So home we came for nap time.  Yes, he is under there, knocked out from a full day, lol.

 It was such a full day of fun and proud moments.

A year ago I would have never thought it possible to enjoy a full day of events without struggles and tantrums.  A year of determination not to let my boy slip into the world of Autism any further has really paid off.  With his change in diet and great help from Sport Social Therapy and his new school our boy is winning his fight.  I couldn't be more excited to see what another year brings.

Better

Thank you for all who contacted me personally, emails and comments were much appreciated.
I know I am not alone in this battle of rights and treatments for Autism for our children.  It is a hard road to travel and just hearing other moms and their stories really does help keep the strength to fight.
My boy has come out of his dark place and is the happy full of life boy I knew.  It is the scariest thing to see your child slip away and not know if he will return.
It is a humbling experience and you enjoy all the time, no matter how hard some days may get, that they are happy and here in full.
We are still jumping through so many hoops and doors are closed in our faces when trying to still seek services.  In a moment of I don't know where else to turn, I tweeted Jenny McCarthy for help.  She actually retweeted my plea and I am so hoping that we are connected with someone out there that will care to listen.  We have paid so much money to high end doctors, therapist and still we are getting no where.  It puts us on another list, or okay try this number or we will get back to you. All we want is a professional ABA therapist to join our family and help our boy in school.  It doesn't seem that hard but yet we live in the worst state that offers educated ABA professionals. There just aren't enough practicing here to go around. 
It is all about name dropping and who ya know.  We have been put on waiting lists to get to a list for appointments with doctors, but we have found that if you drop the right name, all the sudden we are moved to the top of the real list and instantly get in to see the doctor.  It is unfair to all of the families dealing with this.  Once you are moved to the top you feel horrible for the person you knocked off. Just because we know a name makes us more important???? How wrong is this?
Today will be another day of phone calls to government programs and long wait times.  I would love to just stop for one day and go shopping and lose myself.  But taking just one day off could prove crucial.  We are running out of time.  They say you have until the child is 5 to really get the help you need. My child turns 5 in less than 4 months.  And I know to take time for ourselves is also very important, but not having family or friends here to jump over and babysit, and we have also been told we are not eligible for respite because we have not been in the program long enough, UGH!! it is not easy to take a day for us to regain strength.
I am writing this and will tweet it out for hope that someone will come to help eventually.
If you have friends that have special needs children, offer to help.  It could do so much good, more than you could ever know for that family.

Start again

I have been off blogging for a week.
My family was my focus.
After my last post I, and my family had a bit of a set back with my boy and his autism.
For the most part we have been very lucky in having the diagnosis very low and moderate as he is high functioning.  He on most days is a typical child.
You couldn't pick him out from a group and say there is something different about him.
But that all went away over the past week.
He had a tantrum of all tantrums and there was no pulling him out of it.
Once he did come back he was different.  He was touchy, sensitive in all new ways and just not happy.  This made me slide back into a depression. Realizing he was capable of sliding backwards even still after all the progress he has made.
We are desperately trying to find an in home ABA therapist that is able to say what might have brought on the tantrum and the change.
I was telling a friend last night, for most who have no idea what Autism is I tried to find a comparison for you.  When a tantrum hits it is like a new born baby screaming and crying all day long but add rage and hitting, biting and super strength.  Your house will be destroyed in a heartbeat.  And you have no idea why.  What he saw, or what he heard, or something you wore that day, maybe you moved his toy the wrong way, did he eat something that he wasn't supposed to? There is no calming him, there is no way out.  By the end you want to pull your own hair out and have a tantrum of your own.
I wish this disease on no one.  It is horrible and to every stay at home mom or dad that has to deal with it on a daily basis all alone, I cry for you.
It takes so much strength, and courage to keep going.
For a week we have been trying to make him come back to us, happy and the boy we knew.  Last night we had a break through and I can see him.  He is there and I am so close to having my boy back.
I know I am usually posting upbeat stories and how my boy is so happy and sweet.  I give hope to those struggling too that one day their child will come out of it.  But I have to write the truth and share the bad times too.
I wasn't prepared myself for the bad truth but it is before me and I must deal.
I just wish I had help in doing so.

My New Passion

I have discovered the joy of embroidery again.
It is my new passion.
This summer has just been a lovely one with simple days of staying at home and playing pretend, which is not only great for my boy but it makes my mind come up with all sorts of things to make for our days of pretend play.
Using all things I already have, no money spent which is a good thing now.
So as I make things for him, I jot down the ideas I work on at night for myself.

I started with vintage hankies and  haven't stopped.  I am in love with how they are turning out.  So many possibilities and this is why I had a stack of vintage hankies sitting and waiting. :) 

I also have a stack of vintage slips and aprons waiting to get stitched

 This is such a great take along, as we sit in therapy waiting for the boy I can ease my nerves by embroidering.  I watch my husband as he fidgets and say "you really need to get a hobby for when you wait"  It makes the time pass so much easier and faster.

I have so many ideas flowing through my head.
Thanks to a special someone out there in blogland that felt my frustration of not finding embroidery hoops and they magically appeared in my mailbox.
I can't thank you enough for keeping my imagination going and supplying me with them  I started on some dream catchers but they will be a bit different than all the others I have seen out there.  You will just have to stay tuned. ;)

I also have to say that I am thrilled that I have heard from moms and grandparents of newly diagnosed Autistic children.  It makes me so happy to be able to reach out and help others.  Telling our story so as to comfort others and let them know you are not alone.  It took me a long time to talk about it all and now that I have shared it is helping others share.  This is one of those things that you can't do on your own, it takes a village of help and support around you.  Something we are just now getting after a year of searching.

So I am hoping that others don't have to wait as long as we did.  There is hope and the earlier help is given to the child the better,  they will have a better chance of coming out of the haze and live life.  As Temple Grandin says "Different Not LESS"

For Those Who Don't Know...

I feel I am late on the train on this one but since I am a mom of a high functioning autistic child and didn't know, then I imagine most parents or for that matter just society itself is not aware of how a high functioning autistic person sees things and lives life.
 (above is my boy at a 1 year, full of life and happy at 3 we lost him to autism)

Last week browsing the book store or as my son calls it the "Library"
I started reading Temple Grandin's new book.  I immediately was so drawn in to her story and how the mind of an autistic person works from an actual person who lives with this condition.

So I rented The Temple Grandin Movie HBO did a few years back.
HOLY MOLY...A copy of this movie should be given to every parent learning their child has autism.
To know how the mind of my own child sees things, processes it and lives in this world.  Why had this never been shared with us by all the doctors, therapist, and teachers.  I connected in 2 seconds with this film and now can better understand my own child.

It is a dream to share this movie with every person on EARTH.  I strongly recommend it.  It gives hope, insight and truth.

I cannot thank Temple Grandin enough for doing this film and sharing her story and struggles.  It was a life changing film for our family. So  many things that my son does makes so much sense now.

A year of not getting answers from highly paid "professionals" and in a free movie, an hour and 49 minutes later I have answers....Can I get a refund on my therapy sessions????

A new light has been shed on things and we are so happy.

Happy campers you might say...we finally got a makeshift tent up with twinkle lights yesterday and my boy fell in love.  He also fell fast asleep in his new nook.  It made me sigh as I sat there and watched him, he became calm and happy and relaxed to just sit there playing, reading and then falling asleep. 
Life is good

Good Luck?

Last night it was my goal to sit and make a new playset for my son to use as imagination time, pretend play.

As I started on the making of a felt campfire set, I got one piece of the flame set done.  I had the logs I made from last years Christmas scene and I set up the flame on the logs.
My son roared into the room and elated by the scene I had set up immediately sat down and said CAMPFIRE!!!

I continued in making fish, a fishing pole, a hobo bag.
He immediately threw the fishing line over his shoulder and took off to hike to find a stream of fish.
He was in heaven...
as we sat in my craft room around the campfire, a cricket appeared.
Out of nowhere, on the second floor of our home.
It was like we were really out by the pond.
Supposedly crickets are a sign of good luck.
I guess this is a good sign, for the week we have had was long and hard on the autistic side of life.
But today we awoke, bright, happy and ready to go to school.
He packed his fish and fishing pole in his backpack and off he went.

I am going to try to get a tent up and the rest of the camp scene set for when he returns home.

When he connects with the things I make him, makes me the happiest mom in the world.  We may have our hard days but these moments are the ones we remember.

Lets Begin

I will start my week with showing what I did this weekend.
My creative side is back and in full swing.
I am so happy to sit down and make things again.
I started with a copy of Mollie Makes and I had to sew up these super cute Betty Dolls first.

It was such fun and the most stressful part was picking out the fabrics from my piles of what to make her wear.  Just like a morning spent looking in my own closet, ;)
But I found what I liked best and I adore how she turned out.
This pattern was super simple, although they did make a few mistakes in the printing and I had to adjust some pieces, but other than that she is very easy to make.

Once that was accomplished I started on some letter embroidery hoops the magazine also gave templates for but I want to make my own word so I just free handed.  I want to use vintage hoops for my hanging so it will be a bit before this project is really done.  Maybe I will hit a thrift today to seek out some hoops.

Then we hit the Lowes Build it For Kids project my boy was super excited to start, it was a toy from Toy Story they were to build.

But if you have a child with Autism or know a child with this, you know the fun doesn't last long when a task is new and put before them.  As all the other parents were helping and doing a task together, my boy has a mind of I CAN DO IT MYSELF no matter what.

After not being strong enough to hammer nails he lost his cool and the hammer went flying, with the pieces of the toy and the nails.  The screaming starts and we have to leave.  It is like doing a walk of shame when this starts. Parents are staring at us, talking and saying whats wrong with that kid? Whispers of, get him outta here start.  Some days I just wanna wear a shirt that says he is not a brat and I am not a bad mom, he has AUTISM.
Our day went on and once a tantrum hits it is hard to recover.
I was exhausted, and so was the boy,  as Sunday evening rolled around and all I wanted was him to fall asleep so I could breathe.

I didn't breathe til midnight...then the cat bit me...Sigh.

But today is a new day.  School week begins and I will spend my morning back at releasing my tension into fun projects.
I have a cute surprise and I have to wait to share it here.
I am hoping it turns out like I see it in my head.  One half is already finished and I am thrilled with it.  Off I go.